The final installment of Sara and Trevor’s stunning wedding. I loved working on this party and I just love the images that Karen Wise captured.
After the ceremony, guests moved upstairs to the roof for cocktails (which included a lovely champagne bar!).  Meanwhile, we were busy in the process of transforming the ceremony space into a chic, glamorous dining room for the delectable meal that guests were about to enjoy.  The best part of Studio 450 is that it is so very versatile.  Sara and Trevor were major foodies, PLUS food gave us a space to play with and incorporate Sara’s Chinese and Trevor’s mid-western roots.  Because we knew that the guests would be seated for 5 full courses (plus wine pairings) we spent a lot of time creating table designs that would inspire conversation, a bit of between course mingling and of course, feel as glamorous and elegant as the room itself.  We used these awesome round menu cards as both “charger liners” AND as place cards.  A lot of time was spent calculating the most enjoyable position for each of the 100 guests in attendance.  We had a wine pairing for each course (including a sake), which is a lot of glassware, plus I wanted to keep things airy… I just love the modern drama that these white goblets added to the table top.  A tiny detail, but it made the world of difference. When we can, it’s so awesome to do something a little different and special for the bride and groom.  Here we brought in a mirror top table for them to sit on, which sat between the four main dining tables. A perfect position for dinner!

For you food lovers out there, here is some of what we served. A salmon sashimi dish followed by a duck carpaccio and an absolutely fabulous beef duo of short ribs and a strip steak. Not pictured was the gorgeous braised miso cod over black rice. yummy. Thanks to Creative Edge for doing such an outstanding job.

The best part of any wedding is seeing people actually interact with the room. It comes alive to see the “design” actually be used. Everyone thoroughly enjoyed the food, but even with tons of delicious food, it’s hard to get people motivated after 5 courses and fabulous wine. SO, right when dinner was winding down, we livened things up with a traditional Chinese Lion Dance Troupe. They performed for the crowd, who were completely delighted, and presented the bride and groom with traditional scrolls. After that, everyone was ready to dance and, to facilitate that, we passed desserts on the dancefloor and set up a sweet station. All in all, it was an intimate and unforgettable evening.

So, after the Chinese Tea ceremony, Sara and Trevor headed over to Studio 450 for their “western” ceremony. Although they had seen one another earlier in the day, Sara didn’t want Trevor to see her in her white wedding gown, so we kept them separated until she walked down the aisle.  And it worked! He was totally moved when Sara made her way with her dad down the aisle to classical selection played by the harp and flute (from Elan Artists).  The wedding was only for 100 guests, and so we wanted to be sure that we maximized the space but didn’t want to make guests feel like they were swimming in the venue.  We added in some filmy curtains as dividers around the room and, to play off of the white of the space, we used a variation of a ghost chair for guests to sit on.  The cherry blossom arrangements,which mirrored the oversize cherry blossom escort card arrangement laden with crystals at the entry way, sat on top of clear pedestals to keep things light.  We added in a pink runner from The Original Runner company and projected the couples monogram onto the runner.  Afterwards, the rooftop made a perfect backdrop for photos. Stay tuned for photos of the reception and some delightful food porn from their 6 course meal!

The holiday weekend approaches and somehow I find myself alone in the office, reminiscing on wedding weekends past!  Since I won’t be blogging for the rest of the weekend, I thought I’d leave you guys with part one of two from one of our favorite weddings of the Season- Sara and Trevor’s Asian fusion wedding celebration as shot by Karen Wise.  I had posted Sara’s Inspiration to Actuality with some hints of what the wedding looked like a few weeks ago, but today, I’m breaking out (almost) the whole enchilada.

Sara’s family is originally from China, and so it was very important that we incorporate a full-fledged tea ceremony into their wedding day.  The more that we thought about it, the more we felt it would be beneficial to start the day off with the tea ceremony for only their immediate families and the wedding party, then take a short break for guests to rest and change before the more traditionally “Western” ceremony later that evening at Studio 450.  We had toyed with using hotel suites for this part of the day, but ultimately decided that their home would be best, and more homey.

Sara started the day in her red Chinese wedding gown which she had custom made. Trevor, as is the custom arrived with his groomsmen in tow ready to play some games and “earn” the right to see his bride.  This is one of the most fun and awesome parts of a Chinese tea ceremony (which has different traditions from a Korean or Japanese tea ceremony).  First they guys had to “pay” to gain entry to the house and then they had to play a series of games including being fed baby food and an eating contest before Sara actually emerged to greet her groom and the tea ceremony itself would begin.  The actual tea ceremony involves many, many, many cups of tea poured and served to the bride’s parents, the groom’s parents and of course, the bride and groom itself.  I love being a part of a tea ceremony, first because it’s a very intimate ceremony, and a wonderful chance for the families and close friends to gather together in a more casual (and fun) way and see the coming together of two families.  But, secondly, I think that the concept of sharing food and drink is a universal concept and way of saying “welcome” and “thank you”, even if you aren’t a part of that culture.

After the tea ceremony was over, Karen took the couple down to the seaport for a fun little photo shoot.  Weren’t they just adorable? Coming up this afternoon, Sara and Trevor ’s western ceremony and reception.

I am still riding high off of our wedding this past Sunday at Caramoor Center for Music and Art.  Howie and Lisa came to us only about 15 weeks ago to work with them on their wedding.  This was a first for Always a Bridesmaid- not because their engagement was short, but because we’ve never worked on a rabbi’s wedding before.  Lisa is a rabbi and runs the conversion program at Central Synagogue.  This was a wedding that was just FULL of details! Fun, fabulous, details.  I wanted to share some of them with you because I hope that they inspire you!! I think that details don’t have to just add beauty to a wedding, they stand as tiny opportunities to add some more meaning to your day.

So, here we go!  As a couple, they had been to more than their fare share of weddings, and probably had a drawer full of kippah to show for it with couple’s names and wedding dates stamped on the underside.  As a couple, they are terribly witty, and rather than repeat this tradition letter for letter, they saw an opportunity for a chuckle. At a wedding with at least 20 rabbis and cantors in attendance, everyone would know what to do with their kippah right?  Well, just in case someone forgot….

Between them, as a couple, Lisa and Howie had a total of 8 loving parents and stepparents, all of whom were under the Chuppah. Along with that were nearly a dozen siblings! So, for the program, rather than the ins and outs of the ceremony, we offered “A Lineup” . Because they were only one page, we decided to place a pattern on the back, which mirrored their invitation. These were custom created by Smock with the help from Judy Paulen Designs at Bloomingdale’s.

Mayra, Rebecca and I were just in LOVE with Lisa and Howie’s Ketubah, which was designed by the same woman who created Chelsea Clinton’s ketubah (that was sheer coincidence, btw). I love this particular design for its beauty, but when I actually saw it up close I understood why it was ALSO the perfect ketubah for Chelsea’s interfaith wedding as it was written in Hebrew (as is traditional) but with English just beside it.

The couple was beyond excited for their Horah. We slated in a full 30 minutes for it. Being a summer, outdoor wedding, they kept saying “We want people to be drenched from sweat after this horah”…. So, in that spirit, we created sweatbands for people. Right before the music began, waiters from Great Performances came out onto the dancefloor with trays of wristbands that said “1. Place on wrists 2. Enjoy Horah” Clearly, it worked, because not only were people screaming like Justin Beiber had entered the tent, we had a crowd fully clad in white wristbands and out of breath when it was all over.

Of course, some details are simply there to be pretty, and, we love those too, so I’ll share a couple with you! We worked with Matthew Robbins on this wedding, who brought in 30 fabulous farm inspired tables. I’ll wait to share the full look and tablescape, but we utilized tiny silver coffee service trays as chargers, and replicated the design from the invitations on the menu cards, which were warmed up with just a sprig of pine.

And, the icing on the cake was… well, the cake itself! The incomparable Ron Ben Israel created this absolutely astounding cake. It was just amazing. Not only did it pull design elements from the invitations, but it tied in the silver details of the room along with the blue tones (the lettering was navy and silver) of the room decor. Truly delightful!

We’ve been slacking on the posts lately because, frankly, we’ve been busy little bees here at Always a Bridesmaid over the last couple of weeks.  We had a wedding on Long Island last week, a wedding at the Pratt Mansion and this weekend we are up at Caramoor, for a wedding whose details I absolutely CANNOT wait to share.

Recently, (and I mean recently, my client for this weekend was only engaged for about 15 weeks!) we were at Ron Ben Israel’s studio exploring cake options for our client’s wedding at Caramoor.  The bride loved this relatively simple cake of Ron’s featured  on the cover of Elegant Bride Magazine:

Ron explained to her though,that while this cake, designed expressly for this cover, works well on this small scale setting, this same kind of cake would vanish in the oversize tent it would be displayed on at her wedding.

His point to her made a bigger point to me that I thought I would share with you.  Sometimes Inspiration can lead to Frustration.  The same way that we always know that what we see on “reality” TV isn’t real, is the same way that not everything in a photo shoot is actually real.  What works on camera and in a photo studio is totally different than what works in real life.  And the same can be said for a lot of nuances and details in a wedding.

This is more food for thought than it is anything else.  When you see a photo shoot that makes you drool, remember that it was produced.  By that I mean it was designed to be created in close quarters, for examination under a microscope and not replicated 10, 15 or 20 times under time constraints.  By the same token, photo shoots are often designed to make an impact to a camera, which is an intimate eye, and may not be the kind of thing that in a large room, or a tent or ballroom that actually translate well to the human eye that is actually there.

Photoshoots are inspiration points, not replication points, so keep that in mind when you start working on the design and details of your event. If you  are working with a designer or a florist, trust them to interpret your inspiration points on a scale and with a degree of originality will show off you and your location.

I love sports. I love to spend Sundays watching football. I love participating in fantasy leagues. I still have VHS tapes of my favorite basketball games from the 90’s. I mean, I am sad that I am not better athlete, but watching them is high on my list of favorite things. So how excited was I when I read about an event that combines a bridal expo AND a basketball game? Very.

Brides and Basketball is a bridal show that happens at various cities RIGHT before basketball games. Want to get your groom excited about meeting wedding vendors? Buy tickets to these events and you will get free tickets to stay and watch the games. I mean, it’s a win-win situation. The stadiums open a little early and you can check out the different vendors, as well as during half-time.  I wish this was coming to a city near me!

I was looking at calligraphy styles on Laura Hooper’s website a few weeks ago when I spotted these amazing escort cards that Laura does on Spanish Tiles.    These tiles, naturally reminded me of Talavera pottery, which while a staple in  Mexico, is really evocative of  a warm, sunny vibe with a bit of Spanish flair.   I was so inspired by these that I actually got my act together enough for an inspiration board.

A few years ago, Always a Bridesmaid was invited to design a photoshoot with Latina magazine at a “Hacienda” in, of all places, Staten Island (who knew?).  Cheryl Kleinman designed this Talavera inspired cake and we created favors of Tin Ornaments for the “guests” affixed to a wall.  I just loved this lace Lela Rose dress, it reminded me of the hand embroidered linens  that we used on the table centerpiece (we placed each centerpiece  on top of a punched-tin bordered mirror) and the colorful Servilletas (oversized napkins) you see in the lower right hand corner.  No destination wedding would be complete without fabulous cocktails and snacks!  The paloma is Tequila and Grapefruit soda and it is DELICIOUS!!!   Less obvious than a Margarita, but just as tasty.  I also loved these cones of chips in the blue patterned paper. What a simple way to dress up your snacks. (image courtesy Inspiring Brides).  Finally, how great are these Talavera inspired letterpress invites from Letter Press light’s Etsy store.

So, a few weeks ago I had the chance to check out The Hudson Project, an amazing new(ish) band on the wedding scene. I was blown away and am  SOO excited because we are going to be working together this coming weekend. Even though when I saw them at the showcase, it was an teeny tiny studio, I along with everyone else was dancing up a storm!!! You couldn’t keep me in my seat.

This coming Monday, August 23rd, you can check out some more hip, totally un-cheesy wedding bands from  Elan Artists. It’s a pretty casual setting and the wine was free flowing (at least when I was there

August 23rd, 2010

SMASH Studios
307 West 36th Street – 18th Floor

Rhythm Collective 8PM
Hip Variety from Classics to Contemporary

- check out this song list http://www.elanartists.com/rhythm_collective/audio/
- band wears fab 3 piece suits a la Mad Men…very hip, young and fresh

The Elements 8:45PM
80’s and Variety Crossover

- cool, super fun hipsters belt out your 80’s faves in additional to hits from every generation

Please RSVP to rsvp@elanartists.com

A few years ago, (amazingly, two children ago!!) we flew to Mayra’s home town of California to work on and attend her brother’s wedding.  While we specialize in fusion celebrations, Mayra’s brother’s wedding was a traditional Mexican Wedding, punto. So, when I saw this lovely wedding on the Envelopments blog, I got a little misty eyed remembering Juan’s trip down the aisle, preparing for the nearly 500 guests that attended the reception and me, taking a late night  “nap”  after a few too many palomas and a hot day in the sun!

Maria, who works at Envelopments, and Carlos had a traditional Mexican ceremony, that included the laso, arras and of course, the sounds of Mariachi.

A lot of the time, our clients seeking to infuse a Latino element to their wedding (or who just like the sound) will have us secure a Mariachi for their cocktail hour.  In traditional Mexican culture though, Mariachi are a major aspect of the ceremony.  In fact, ideally, the Mariachi come to where the bride is getting ready to serenade her before heading on to the ceremony.  Can you imagine how awesome those photo ops would be? Mariachi really make for fabulous ceremony music, and it is a great way to incorporate a cultural element into your day.

Another one of my favorite traditions from a Mexican wedding is a dance called La Vibora de la Mar. As far as cultural dances go, it is not as famous as the Horah or the Tarantella, but it is certainly as much fun!  The bride and groom stand on chairs and the groom holds the brides’ train or veil.  The guests, holding hands “snake” (vibora) through… it gets fast and furious and a little bit wild!

Obviously, since Maria works with Envelopments her invitations were just fantastic.  Here is a sneak peak, but you should DEFINITELY check out their website to see how they created this look as well as some of her other stationery pieces and more pics from her wedding.

The Q: “Hi:  My sister is getting married next summer, and I think she’s looking through rose-colored glasses when it comes to our parents, who split up when we were in grade school…My sister says, “They get along fine.”  Well, yes, they get along fine because they have absolutely zero contact.  They’ve spoken less than half a dozen times over the last 15 years.

Mom loathes stepmom, who she believes torpedoed her marriage to dad.  They have never spoken.  Dad and stepmom have two children who are almost teenagers; Mom has never met them and refuses to even talk about them….
I foresee a lot of tension and awkwardness, especially regarding pictures and seating.  My sister just believes that they’re all adults and will act nicely.  Do you think this is realistic?  What should she do to reduce the potential landmines in this situation?”  Thanks for your help, Sister of the Bride

The A: WOW!  Ok, no, I don’t think that this will be as smooth as your sister imagines, and in fact, to be honest, I am less worried about incident than I am about tension.  In general, specific to your situation, if at all possible, try not to have the wedding day be the very first time everyone is around one another.  I can’t foresee a leisurely dinner at your local bistro to toast the engagement, but at the very least, be sure to have a rehearsal and have all hands on deck at the rehearsal dinner. Better to get this out in the open and avoid any surprises.  We once had a bride who didn’t want her semi-estranged dad to walk her down the aisle, but no one told him that until we were at the rehearsal.  You could have cut the tension with a knife, but on the day of the wedding, everyone fell in line and knew exactly what to expect.

Speaking more generally, here are my “Do’s and Don’ts” to avoid Divorced Parent Disasters.

DO Delegate Planning Activities: Anticipate some tensions as you plan, especially if you were close to your stepmother. From the beginning, decide who is going to be a part of what. Give one person (probably mom) the attire”beat” and one the floral and personal flower beat.  Meaning, mom would be invited to dress shop and fittings, etc.  While step mom would come see floral sample (or invitations). Don’t get them both involved in all projects.  Also, if both Mom and Dad are contributing to the wedding financially, decide on what their budgets are and outline the areas that they will cover. This will prevent them from asking too much about “how much is your mother giving.

DO Educate your Parents about Etiquette: Talk with them IN ADVANCE about the concerns that you have and let them know how you want to handle things so that nothing comes as a surprise and you manage expectations in advance.  i.e.  “Step mom, I talked to a wedding coordinator, and she said that my mother is traditionally the last guest to sit at the reception before the bridal party enters, so let’s have you enter a bit before escorted by So and So.”

DO Remember MOM’s place: This is probably the MOST stressful area, because it’s when people feel the most on display. Three guidelines to make it clear cut.  Your mom is the last guest seated before the bridal party starts processing (unless it’s a Jewish ceremony when she should enter with you).  She is the first of the parents to recess at the end.  She is the first person announced into the reception(or simply skip this, and remove the stress) and if your mother is un-attached or without a date,she should always have a mutually pre-determined escort for all of the moments above.

DO Make a Shotlist and Timetable See preventative conversation, but also create a DETAILED shot list which outlines EXACT conversations and splits photos with mom’s side into a distinctly different shoot than photos with dad’s side. I suggest all photos being done in advance if possible, preferably close to the ceremony site (before alcohol is served) and assigning people different arrival times.  For instance the person with the smallest extended family is invited to arrive at 4PM at photo location (mom,Aunt Vera,Uncle Steve,Cousin Rob) followed by arrival the groom’s family and Dad at 4:15.  Have a quick photo (if you want it) of bride with both Mom and Dad, but avoid if not desperately necessary.  Mom is now free to mingle or return to bridal suite, etc.  at 4:30 have the extended family of your dad arrive.

DON’T Revise History They’ve had a long hard road together that has had an impact on everyone.  Don’t try to force a lot of togetherness and don’t sugar coat for your in-laws.  You don’t need to delve into details, but the more upfront you are with everyone about the coldness between them, the less stressful this will be for everyone (think preparedness)

DON’T Use this as a platform for Reconciliation This is ultimately about the joining of two people in love with a pledge for life.  Not a time to try and clear the air or forge bonds or mend fences.  Keep the focus on the wedding and don’t let others stray into that other territory either.

DON’T Make the Reception a “Parade of Toasts” Limit the number of people who will speak at the reception to the barest minimum.  I suggest just your best man and maid of honor.  Don’t open yourself up to dealing with negotiating hurt feelings or censorship of toasts.